Thursday, December 4, 2014
Mother
Agatha Christie said, “A mother's love for her child is like nothing else in the world. It knows no law, no pity. It dares all things and crushes down remorselessly all that stands in its path." In what ways does this quote relate to the relationship Sister Souljah has with her mother? How would you describe their relationship? What do you believe is the most important lesson Souljah learns from her mother? How do you believe Souljah is impacted by this relationship (the negative aspect and/or the positive aspects)? Remeber, your discussion must be supported by specific details from the text. Write one post and comment on two post
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While reading No Disrespect by Sister Souljah, chapter "Mother" I recognized many different changes in the relationship between Sister and her mother. In the very beginning of the chapter Sister's mother was very over protective and always told sister to stay away from anything that could destroy her future especially boys. Even though Sister was young, her mother always told her not to make the same mistakes that her mother made such as letting a man run her life. Sister's parents were very young and had children at a young age. The protagonist described the relationship her parents had. Her father believed that the wife were supposed to stay home cook and clean while the husband works and provide for the family. Sister's mother would stay home and clean and she didn't have a well education not even a high school diploma. Sadly, Sister father had caught a disease called epilepsy, as a result he was fired from his long time job. This put the family in a horrible predicament which affected the household economically and mentally. Sister's mother couldn’t deal with the stress and decided to move to the projects and had to report to welfare. I decided to add this information because later in the chapter mother would tell Sister not to let a man stop her from gaining success. As I continued reading I began to label her mother as a hypocrite because everything she told Sister to prevent, she was doing for example "I found rolling paper and marijuana in her room. When I asked her about it, she said it was hers and so what! She shrugged her shoulders and said I was silly and oversensitive and that reefer was no big thing" (Souljah 41). However in the beginning she told Souljah to stay away from drugs and even broke up with Tyrone because he was doing drugs. This was one of the many negative influences her mother told her to prevent. I began to dislike her mother simply because the numerous men she had sex with just to get money. Even Sister realized that her mother was wrong for what she was doing whether it meant receiving money or not. "Sex for money is prostitution, Mommy" (Souljah 47). This shows how her mother is trying to provide for the family however she believes Sister doesn't realize that this is actually helping the family financially. Sister Souljah looks at mothers past relationships with men and states she will never do the same thing her mother did or have the same relationships. I believe this impact build Sisters attitude and personality which is why she stays away from men and is a virgin because she believes having a baby will destroy her future.
ReplyDeleteI definitely agree with you Daquan, I was actually surprised how she presented two different characteristics within "Mother" as I had continued reading the chapter. Well from Sister observing her mom it was obvious that especially a woman of color should not depend on a man for anything. Why dislike her if she strives to provide for her family whether or not it is society's' moral? Well Sister knew it was helping the family financially "Believing that financial pressure made my mother see Tony... That way we would all put our money together and wouldn't need to dependent upon any outside intruders or any men that she did not love (49)". However it was the disgrace of knowing her mom was being controlled and prostituting herself.
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ReplyDeleteSmt; I wrote three replies but wouldnt publish. i stated i agree with what you said , i just feel her mother is an hypercrite simply because everything she said she was doing herself. How can she expect her children not to do something she does. For example like you said Sister Souljahs sister was influenced by her mom and eventually she got pregnant however she got an abortion. You can look at that as a lesson. Im beginning to like the protagonist of the stories based off her characteristics .
DeleteI must ask Inari, is teaching your children not to trust anybody and love anybody good for them? Sister Souljah did say she was cold as a person, I feel this mentality can be corrosive, this sort of thinking will lead to loneliness and then craziness. I understand what her mother is trying to say: that relationships are not an ingredient to financial success, but I feel teaching your children to hate everybody turns them into robots and and skew their views on people. The fact remains that people in good relationships are happier and function at a more efficient level that people who aren't, this mentality can cause Sister to avoid those who might actually be trustworthy, and she will forever be a bitter cynic.
DeleteI don't think she was really pretending to be strong Inari. I believe she was strong in that she left her husband before he got crazy enough to start beating her or torturing the family. She was able to stand her grown with the men and women she encountered living in the projects. But when you're such a tough and devilishly taunting environment, some things cannot be ignored. Due to her desperate effort to take care of children, she must have thought that if the women who were indirectly prostituting themselves were alive and well, then why couldn't she do the same thing? That's how the cycle of self-oppression starts. You do one thing thinking it's okay, swearing off that you'll draw the line right there. But then other things began to transpire and lead you completely to the darker side of the fence.
DeleteDale I never said her lesson were Correct but with they Kept Souljah out of trouble and a good head on her shoulders for the most part. She wasn't intruged by sweet nothings most boys keep but by their minds. I feel as through her growth as a individual is bore out of what she saw.
DeleteSarye, I want you to consider what she encountered in leaving. Was it not what she would have encounter, as you stated, if she would have stayed. PROOFREAD PROOFREAD PROOFREAD
DeleteMother did her job as a mother. She set up a structure on which Sister Souljah was able to grow. Her making her children go to church gave Sister Souljah a spiritual guide who she depended on for a long time. She made sure early on what was wrong and right: not to take drugs, not to get pregnant, and the all important "don't talk to strangers." In this way she did follow the mold that Agatha Christie makes in her quote, the fact that Mother was willing to provide and protect for them and sort of prostitute herself out is a higher level of love than what people usually delegate out amongst one another. However, as a person, I strongly loathe Sister Souljah's mother. What sort of mother is stupid enough to be morally out-witted by her daughter? In less than 16 years Sister Souljah was able to analyze the black condition, dissect it and present it in a concise argument, to which her mother had no answer for even though she had been on this Earth longer than her daughter. Sister Souljah's mother fell into the very same things she warned about, she started taking drugs, fighting her children, freely and uninhibitedly engaging in sex. This moral hedonism, this level of hypocrisy, is the ultimate betrayal, and Sister Souljah said it at the end of the chapter "But I came to believe that the woman walking around the house posing as my mother was not my mother. She was America's creation and that did not belong to me." Sister Souljah and her mother now have a purely physical parasitic relationship, in which now at this point, her mother supports her by giving her food and shelter, but no moral guidance, and Sister Souljah is now an autonomous being who takes the shelter and gives nothing back.
ReplyDeleteI agree Dale. Sister Souljah proved herself to be wiser than her mother in many areas of life. I think it was the idea of her mother still being young, heartbroken, and naïve herself that led to the lack of guidance in her family. She knew she wanted her daughter to be better than she was, but I don't think she knew what came along with acquiring a great amount of knowledge. Although she encouraged Sister Souljah to study and learn, it was she who had an issue with the information she discovered (Souljah 48). Nevertheless, her struggle to come out of her own world of ignorance stood in the way of a healthier relationship with her mother.
DeleteI agree with you Dale, because her mother had to face hardship. Living in the projects is not easy when a single mother is trying to raise her children. Therefore I don't believe her mother is naive because she was forced into a situation that she couldn't not handle. Her mother didn't have a choice to take care of her family, but she had too. I would agree that she is very young, but she has to learn for her mistakes. Living in the projects as a single mother has changed her dramatically because before she moved to the projects she made sure her children was well educated, now Souljah has to witness her mother and sister fighting over a reefer which is very disappointing. (Souljah 41)
DeleteI believe the projects has effected her, because her personality changed. You could not blame her mother for everything because she tried her best to keep the family together.
I agree with you Dale. I would like to add on to what you are saying. Do you believe mother gave Souljah along with the other kids enough support. For example she told them what to do and what not to do and left them to figure out everything else on their own. Also don't you think it's hard for them to follow her rules that she set when she is breaking them right in front of their faces showing them that what she is doing is ok because she is hustling for them. I feel as though is was a great mother when she practiced what she preached but she started to fall apart and let her kids down that strongly drowned on her strength that is now weakness. Because all the things she told them not to do she did and not only that she influences them to do it aswell. Souljah herself was confused as to why she would plant such emphasis on the fact that society will chew you up and spit you out based on certain actions and her mother are influencing the actions.
DeleteI believe that Sister Souljah and her mother had a very strange relationship during her teenage years. She always encouraged her daughter to live life differently than she had and not get caught up in the world of men and their lies. Yet, she contradicted her rules and guidelines by displaying behaviors that were the total opposite of what she advised for her child. Sister Souljah states that her mother, "Like many adults. . .wanted her children to do as she said and not as she did (Souljah 40). I don't think that her mother meant to act that way. However, even if she did, I still believe that she wanted better for her daughter no matter how many times she chastised her and said she took life too seriously or was being "oversensitive" (Souljah 41). After all, she probably didn't grow up hoping to be the woman she changed into. Even Sister Souljah noticed this because said "[the woman posing as my mother was not my mother. She was America's creation and that did not belong to me"(Souljah 50).
ReplyDeleteI agree with you Sarye because her mother was lost. She did tell her children to do those same things she told them yet she is doing it. She was brought up to think that men are suppose to be their to support them. However, she had so many different who she "love" but, they walked out on her, leaving her to keep going. Her mother was too absorbed into finding a man that will treat her right. She does want the best for her kids but at the same time, she did not even know what she wanted for herself.
DeleteI agree with you Sarye because you point out the negatives her mother has done that impacted her daughter tremendously hence why the first chapter is about her mother. As a child, one often looks up to their mother because thats the first they see and know. Although her mother has good intentions for her daughter, it is misrepresented in her daughters life. Inclusively, living in the projects has showed many things to Souljah that is not great for her but her mother tries hard to keep her safe from that. But not safe from other things.
DeleteI agree with you Sarye because you make a good point as to that her mother didn't want her to do as she did but the things she influenced her to do such as drinking contradicted what she says she wanted. But, i believe that her mother came to this point because she had no guidance as a child other than to depend on a man and when her husband took a turn for the worse she didn't know what to do. Also, moving into the projects,a whole different environment, also influenced her actions to change into a whole different woman.
DeleteAgatha Christie quote is able to relate to Sister Souljah’s mother because she made sure she was able to provide for her family; even through the situations that was involved inside the projects. Day by Day her mother had to come up with a plan to make money and make sure everybody was safe. Once her father left, her mother became a single mother; also she had to adjust with the surrounding which led her to be confined and pressured to take care of Sister Souljah’s siblings. She quotes “Still, I thanked God in my prayers for my mother whom I had known, loved, and respected for seventeen years. I thanked God she had the strength to save us and secure us from the projects, the danger, the hunger, and the mental devastation. I thank God she has the intelligence to teach us to be drug free…”(Souljah50) Even though her mother may have her flaws, Souljah is able to embrace her mother with love, because at the end of the day all the mistakes she has done, it’s to keep her family together.
ReplyDeleteOne thing that has puzzled me able her mother is when she explains “I tried to understand and balance my mother’s words to me as a young woman. She cautioned me against wasting too much time on these men “who are all the same.” She repeated that pregnancy would “ruin my life.” She warned marriage “never works.” Yet when I would wear a button- down blouse she would tell me to unfasten to top button I resisted saying I didn’t want my breasts to show”( Souljah 43). If her mother wants the best for her life, what is the purpose of dressing inappropriate, and is comfortable with her having sex or even doing drugs; why is she contradicting her advice to her kids if she knows her life isn’t great ? What is the purpose to see her children fail too?
Her relationship with her mother is not the best, but she is intelligent enough to learn and observe from her mothers’ mistakes. I believe Souljah is embarrassed and ashamed, but also have love for her mother because no matter how many men come into their life, it benefited them to survive another day. I also believe her mother didn’t want to put herself in this position, especially living in the projects because her expectation was to live happy, and make her children proud. She explains in her letter “I wrote about how it had always been she who had encouraged me to study, read, and learn…. I explained my objection to her “relationship” with Tony… I tried to make her understand that yes, black people did wicked things to each other. That’s why it so easy for most black people to destroy one another”( Souljah 48-49). Souljah’s mother gave up when she seen no hope in herself, and she wasn’t willing to get back up because mentally and physically she was destroyed.
Well Stephanie two great minds do think alike I absolutely agree with your opinion, because I have the same point of view. I like believe that Souljah mother expected that being married was going to solve everything. She learnt the hard way though. I liked the quote that you combined within the first paragraph. I believe that even though she knew she taught her daughter well her mom knew that her aim was to be better than her. Soujah knew that living in the projects and walking in her mom’s footstep was a failure. She used the negativity experiences from her mom as positive lesson in her life.
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DeleteI agree with Stephy and B, following in her mother footstep would only make it look like she did not teach her anything. Sister never allowed her mother exprience to make her not achieve what she wanted, this made her want to show her mother that you can make it you do not need a man to help you to provide for you and your family, also that you have to love you have to love yourself before you can love anybody or anything else.
DeleteI totally agree with what my classmates stated before. Maybe her mother way of teaching her life lessons was to show her the outcomes of them. Seeing the outcomes made Sister Souljah want to be the opposite of her mom. She took her mother's wrong doings and made it a reason to become a better person. Pria is right when she said you have to love your self before you love anybody else.
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ReplyDeleteHer Mother sense of pride and strength was taken from her through failed relationships. She lost herself .Her mother does love her children, her clothing and actions is based on her experience , doesn't mean she wants them to live her life or share the she felt pain so she feels the best way to avoid that is to by dressing inappropriately to get a man attention . A man that will protect and provide for her . "...I'll have a man with some money and power...."Never wait for a Mans rescue would have been a better plan but still Souljah would have been cold.
ReplyDeleteAfter reading the chapter "Mother" in Sister Souilja book No Disrespect , I questioned myself How does a woman being the Housewife and having a man to protect and care for you to being a woman with three kids and on welfare? Sister and Mother relationship changed over time. At first Sister's Mother put on a front for a children's sake as a Strong Women.She was very protective of her children she had insisted they always stay together and protect each other.When she was married to Sister's father she let him run things and play housewife that's where she felt comfortable she had no real level of education, so when they divorced the family moved to the projects. Her Mother didn't want the same faith for her daughter she told them different."...No matter what— allow a man to interrupt your work or education."(Souljah 29) I feel as through her mother was a women whom let men define and control her the way she viewed Men as a whole. When her mother had failed relationships back to back the pressure of this new life started to break her. Sister saw the changes as her brother ignored them and sisters didn't understand them Their bond was altered by her mother deeds and lost respect for her but still loved her.".... She didn't understand the power of her example"(Souljah 40)
ReplyDeleteHer Mother new lifestyle influenced her sister who ended up Pregnant when her mother called Souljah she told her about the abortion and her mother said it would be done as the fetus had no life. The most important her Mother lesson taught her is that Love doesn't happen and that inorder to succeed in life was to leave that alone and focus on your education.Agarta Chritse quote relates to Sister Souljah and Her mother Relationship because Her mother does love her children does everything she can for them even through her actions may not fit her words she doesn't want them to suffer as she is . Especially being a woman of three children she always says pregnancy will ruin your life she is a flawed woman but her children mean the most to her .
After reading the first chapter in No Disrespect by Sister Souljah I realized that she had a different view of the world she lived in. Her relationship with her mother was quite astounding. The author faced numerous obstacles within her childhood and adolescence years. However, her mom groomed her on the right path by sending her to church and instilling the proper discipline a child needed. I believed their relationship wasn’t close knitted. Sister learnt from her mom through her observations of her actions. Agatha Christie once states, “A mother's love for her child is like nothing else in the world. It knows no law, no pity. It dares all things and crushes down remorselessly all that stands in its path”. I agree with this quote because her mother strived to hustle to make a living to help provide the necessary needs as a single parent. According to the text “Like many young “hip” mothers, mine made no big ordeal out of sex itself. There were really only two rules: one, don’t do anything that you don’t want to do, and two, don’t get pregnant (39)”. How can an African American mother not take into the consideration of her fifteen year old daughter experiencing such shock? I believe Souljah expected her mother to be a mother to demand that she was never to put herself into any situation like that rather than laughing. Souljah stated “My mother had always taught me that drugs killed the mind and spirit and that we should never destroy our bodies with drugs”. Despite her training her how does she then have reefer in her possession and also a point in time where she was fighting with her daughter over whose drugs it was. I believe that this impacts Souljah life positively as she benefits from the confusing of morals with her family. “I couldn’t understand why I should show cleavage, be sexy, and loosen up if I was not supposed to get pregnant. I couldn’t understand why it was okay to have sex if I shouldn’t get married. And I couldn’t understand why I should drink alcohol if I did not want to and was raised by her to believe that drugs and alcohol would destroy me (43)”. This is what Souljah reminisced on knowing the right from the wrong being taught one thing but expects to follow her mom footstep. I believe the most important lesson Souljah learns from her mother was the responsibilities she had to face at a tender age. She had to do everything from cleaning and feeding the baby, cooking, changing diapers, laundry and looking after her other little sister. Her mom didn’t hide her from the reality of life. She understood the difference of being black and being white in American. Soujah stated, “And I understood that there was a difference between being in control and being controlled. My goal was to gain control over my life so I would not have to be like any of the people that I had ever met. I wanted to be in charge of my direction as opposed to simply reacting to whatever everyone said and did and planned for me (34)”.
ReplyDeleteYou begin with a very empowering statement. I would have loved to see you delve deeper into that thought. What was it about the world that she lived in that caused her to create this different perceptive? Also, as you look at her mother, I want you to consider what her mother does and why her mother feels like she HAS to do it.
DeleteGreat use of text based evidence. Please remember to proofread.
I totally agree with you all however it is true that mother was going through a difficult time. i just think she fell under pressure. I also want to say i think these actions of mother help mature the protagonist I believe mothers actions had positive effect on Sister. I say this because she proved her self to be a wise person so i think mother's mistakes contributed to the characteristics or personality and image Sister holds.
ReplyDeleteTrue she does have a difficult time. She is falling apart because she does not know what to do. Her husband is sick and she has to take care of everyone. She has knowledge and all of her faults show Sister what to do and what not to do. Although they might be hypocritical they do teach her a lesson for the future.
DeleteI agree with you Brit. I like how you said that Sister used her mother unfortunate problem as her guidance that was now lacking from her mother because her mother was losing her character as a mother. Sister used her mother issues to continue to steer her life in a positive direction. Sister relied greatly on her mother and her mother let her down guidance wise. I believe mother thought her job as a full mother was over when it's not her kids need her because they can sleep at any moment. Although her mother did not hide things from her do you think the way she revealed it was appropriate for Sister ?
ReplyDeleteI believed that is was only right, because of her exposure living with the knowledge of what she encountered within the projects.
DeleteThat was a strong statement. She is losing her character because she is very stressed and does not know everything. Sister looks up to her mother as a hero and believes she knows most. Unfortunately she does not know everything and it is showing by her actions. She learns from all of her mother's mistakes and takes it and turn it into postive things for the future
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ReplyDeleteWhile continuing my journey through No Disrespect write by Sister Souljah I've seen many issues that are prevalent in today's society. The quote stated above relates to Sister Souljah because her mother loves her and does not want anything to happen to her. However Souljah mother wants her to learn through her mistakes. However having experience her mother attempted relationships with several guys in and out her life is not allowing Souljah to avoid this conflict but she is always in this predicament that it sooner or later will become nature for her. " Like many adults she didn't understand the power of her examples" (Souljah 40). This gives my thought liability because Souljah mother wants her to be different from her. Her mother does not want her to go through the samething she is going through. As time progress and life continues Souljah and her mother began to grow apart and their connection became transparent. Her mother was preaching to her kids things she did not practice. Souljah starts to lose respect for her mother although the love will still be there. " I thought deeply about that day, and grew more and more to understand how the day-to-day pressures of being black, penniless, structureless, culturally restricted, and frustrated in America could tear away at something that was supposed to be sacred: our loved ones and our family" (Souljah 41). This means that something that was supposed to be the gold at the end of the rainbow quickly changed because of being black and less fortunate and being what everybody thought blacks would be and would do. This impacted Souljah greatly because she held her family close to her hurt so to see them fighting was like a stab in the heart. (41). The lack of mother and daughter relationship between Souljah and her mother began to go downhill when her mother let her self go and is now telling Soulljah along with her other kids to do things she planted in their heads from young not to do. Her mother is slowly becoming less of a mother and now just a supervisor there to watch. " But I had come to believe that the woman walking around the house posing as my mother was not my mother. She was America's creation and that did not belong to me" ( Souljah 50). Her Souljah discusses her final realization that she has completly lost her mother to society and the poor influences surrounding her. Losing her mother to society is very hurtful for Sister because her mother knew all this useful information how not to destroy oneself in society and yet she could not take her own advice.
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with you Jada because her mother did not have control of her life. She had all these different men who just ended up walking out the door, where she is just left either hurt or is moving on. Her mother was losing her connection she had because their relationship was great when she was a child however, in her teen years, there was that dramatic shift. She did go against her own words because she was doing drugs when she told them to not do it and many other things. At the end of the day, Sister Souljah will not lose respect for mother even though her mind is already corrupted.
DeleteEveryone needs a mother in their life because she will be the one person who shows unconditional love for you and show help you with your life so it will not have the same fate as hers has. In the chapter Mother, I have noticed the separation of the relationship between the the author and her mother. Souljah's mother was a single mother who had to take care of her children a long the way to make ends meet while, Sister Souljah would look upon her mother from relationships, to jobs, and finding a place to stay. Before they moved to the projects in the Bronx, they lived with their father who believed "...she be fully dependent upon him...He must be the source of her money,love, sex, and strength, and the center of her existence"(Souljah,6).Souljah's mother had came to believe this because when she lef their father and moved to the Bronx, she met Tyrone. She had also met many men like him or Big Joe, etc. Souljah's mother was lost in a world that she started to believe in something that she told her children not to do. She did not have a high school diploma, job or money because she was too caught in believing that a man is suppose to be there to support her. While Sister Souljah was observing her mother's relationships, she gained knowledge about learning the effects in a relationship. She said "As for my weakness, I confess that observing my mother's relationships with men...not be bothered with the pain of male-female relationships...became extremely involved in the education of my mind..."(Souljah,35). I think she made the right decision there, to just focus on her education rather boys because your education is important and she wants to achieve and accomplish something that her mother did not fully finish. She also said "I began to see my mother not as the perfect angel that guarded me from the danger...I saw her as a young and confused woman with many imperfections who married young"(Souljah, 40). Everyone is not perfect because they all have done something that they have regret in their past. Sister Souljah saw how her mother had became corrupted with drugs and sex. She was tired of seeing many men coming to her apartment looking for her mother but one that upset her the most was a white man named Tony. She said "The state of mind of all those black men,Mommy, was created and controlled by these white people through their laws...and the evil way that they have dealt historically with our people...They've driven him homeless,landless,languageless,penniless,and damn near mindless"(Souljah, 46). Men minds are corrupted by what they are believing of the white man. They only do the things that they do because they all believed the words and beliefs of the white man. They cannot tell the truth, from the lie because they do not know what to believe which cause some of them to lose their minds. He also said "...the woman walking around the house posing as my mother was not my mother; She was America's creation and that did not belong to me"(Souljah, 50). She feel as though she lost her mother from her true self and that now she is being replaced by a mind-shaped person who does not know what she is doing with her life. She will always respect her mother however, since she is driven into something that she knows is not her, it will be hard to get her back to who she once was.
ReplyDeleteI Absolutely agree with you she did lose herself she became caught up with the lifestyle that she herself do not know how to find her way back to who she was.Also when sister wrote the letter and spoke to about having all them men who do not love her or she love them to come in and sleep with her she did not even consider what she was say. This made it hard for Sister to respect her mother the one she looked up too for advise for guidence, is the same truning around telling her the same thing that she told her not to do she is doing. Money is the root of all evil.
DeleteIn life you always that a mother is a clean sheet for a dirty bed, which means that if you was in trouble or have any problems that she would be there to protect you. Sister mother began to lose herself after her husband was diagnosed with epilepsy. When living in the projects with her three children Sister mother had to adopt to the lifestyle of making money by prostitution. Sister took her mother’s advice and go to school get her education while staying away from the drugs. “I came stumbling thought my door huffing and puffing. I told my mother what had happened and how shocked I was (Souljah, 39). All her mother did was laugh, this shows that her mother had gone through this already so it was nothing for her, the laughter symbolized that she was okay with what her daughter had just experienced. “My mother said she didn’t want us to get pregnant because our lives would be over. But why wasn’t she concerned about anyone else’s daughter getting pregnant” (Souljah, 42)? This statement was said because her mother was living proof of getting pregnant and having to give up her life to give her children the live she never had but she is not setting a good example for her daughters. She is teaching her son to be a rental like every other dude that she had dated. “I went to my mom rom and I started to write a letter to my mother” (Souljah, 47). She wanted her mother to understand how she felt and how she just her family not too dependent on no man to support them. Writing this letter she taught this would help change her mother prospective on the way she is living her life, she never tried to take her daughter seriously. “I think you should stop trying to burst people’s bubble” (Souljah, 48). He brother told her she need to stop telling people the truth because not everybody want to her that, which means that he accepted the way they were living. Being raised in the projects Sister have seen so much that her mind state towards things are different, she have seen her mother have different men in and out of their house allowing them to hurt her, Sister need let what her mother was doing for a living or what the children say or did to her in affect her too much. Sister is the only one who did not allow the drugs and alcohol to change who she is. The relationship continued to get worst to the point where she lost respect for her. For a child to lose respect for their parent is unbelievable but in Sisters case the respect was lost because her mother lost her sense of self. “I want to gain control of my life” (Souljah, 34). This shows she wants her life to be different and not like her mothers. She wants to be better and show that you can be from the projects but you do not have to take what you seen or heard with you.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you Priscilla and Stephanie when you touch base on how her mother has lost her sense of self. Ever since the father was diagnosed with epilepsy, everything started going downhill for Souljah's family. The mother was driven to leave him because he could not support the family anymore and she found herself bringing numerous men to the house. Living in the projects, mother had to take her of her daughter and make sure she was safe. She did not want her daughter to commit the same mistakes as her but she wanted her to learn from experiences which is very contradicting. However, Souljah begins to lose respect because her mother begins to do what she said she shouldn't do.
DeleteI agree with Pria, because I like how you made the connect with Sister Souljah telling the truth; and in actuality nobody doesn't want to the truth becuase nobody doesn't want to change their behavior. (Souljah 48). Her mother is embarrassed, and also ashamed that she failed her children. Her mother lost self respect and continued to go down the wrong path because she had no support; the main reason for her attitude is the men that came in and out of her life. Souljah's mother is not the one to blame because before moving into the project and going on welfare she was a well rounded lady that was comfortable being the house wife, while the husband was the breadwinner. She is the not the one to blame, because Sister Souljah was the only one that was educated and knowledgeable while her sister and brother are following in their mother foot step. Sister Souljah became the person that she is today because she watched her mother do the wrong things; the negative things that her mother did was a "blessing in disguise". Her mother was forced to deal with these conditions, because once you stay in the project, people get shucked in. There was no way out, and her mother had no choice but to adapt, and provide for her family.
ReplyDeleteAgatha Christie once said "A mother's love for her child is like nothing else in the world. It knows no law, no pity. It dares all things and crushes down remorselessly all that stands in its path." This quote relates to the relationship the protagonist of No Disrespect; Sister Souljah, has with her mother. Despite their circumstances such as living in the projects and being separated from the both husband and father, Sister Souljah has remained safe and aware of her surroundings. Although her mother has a different plan for her, Sister Souljah refuses to let just any man have her heart and body. Sister Souljah's mom wants her to learn from her experiences. Its very hard for Sister Souljah to drift away from her mothers pressure of "letting loose" because of the numerous men she brings to the house in search of filling her husband spot as a provider. Sister Souljah was found in two situation thus far in the chapter in which a boy is trying to make her give up her innocence. What the mother really wants from her child is really confusing. She was her to learn from experiences but does not want her to repeat the same things she has done. Oftentimes, children learn from their parents. They believe their parent is their hero and they want to be just like them when they grow up. "Worse was the loss of my respect. I continued to love my mother, but the loss of respect would alter the nature of our connection, our relationship, our spiritual bond" (Souljah 41). There were many instances that had cause Sister Souljah to lose respect from her mother. For example, Souljah's mothers always taught her daughter that drugs killed the mind and spirit but she has drugs of her own. These lessons prove that Souljah's mother is very hypocritical. She does not practice what she preaches to her children. “Afterward I thought deeply about that day, and grew more and more to understand how the day-to-day pressures of being black, penniless, structureless, culturally restricted, and frustrated in America could tear away at something that was supposed to be sacred: our loved ones and our family” (Souljah 41). After that specific situation, Souljah began to broadly understand why oftentimes people lose respect from one they looked up to. However, Sister Souljah loves her mother because that is all she knows since her father left. Her mother seems to have good intentions but she just does not handle them properly.The most important lesson that Souljah learns is that all men are the same. This helps Souljah have the ability to not let anyone get the best of her. On the other hand, Souljah is impacted by the relationship with her mother both negatively and positively. She sees many negative things that her mother has done such as smoking and having men around for money. But this shows her exactly what not to do. Souljah is thankful for having the privilege to get seventeen good years with her mother which many do not have(Souljah 50). She then comes to the realization that the women posing as her mother was America’s creation that did not belong to her (Souljah 50). Her mother was influenced by the need of money and society’s perception that she fail to realize her daughter was hurting.
ReplyDeleteSister Souljah's relationship with her mother wasn't very stable. I think after her father developed epilepsy that is when things started to go down hill. Mother's always tell their children to never do drugs because it'll mess up your mind and you won't be able to function properly. That is what Souljah's mother told her and when Souljah found out that her mother was smoking marijuana it broke her heart. " While looking for typing paper, I found rolling paper and marijuana in her room (Souljah 41)." One day when Souljah came home from school she found her mother and sister fighting about the same situation. She then goes on to say that she grew more to understand that the pressure of being black can tear away at a family bond. Mother's should always be honest with their children and in order to help them grow.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Ronae, I do believe mothers should always be honest with their children to help them grow. As a child we look up to the adults that surrounds us, we feed off their decisions and choices what they allow is what we take in as right. It because very evident , like Ronae said her mother was smoking weed and so was her daughter and brother. However Souljah is really a strong black woman because she beat the odds instead of being trap.
DeleteAfter reading the first chapter mother, I've realized that she had a off perspective of the society she live in. A child's mother has experienced most of the things that the child will go through. “I came stumbling thought my door huffing and puffing. I told my mother what had happened and how shocked I was (Souljah, 39). The mother did not have the usual crazy outburst on what she told her. This showed that she experienced that before in her life. Parents are supposed to be the role models in life and the children usually look up to them but she does things that she tells her children not to do. She is hypocritical and that makes her children not want to be like her when they grow up to be like her. She loved her mother but could not respect her. "Worse was the loss of my respect. I continued to love my mother, but the loss of respect would alter the nature of our connection, our relationship, our spiritual bond" (Souljah 41). Everyone goes through that phase in life where they love their parents but cannot understand or respect some of the things that they do. This chapter is basically about her witnessing things that make her more aware of situations. This somewhat her transition into the real world.
ReplyDeleteAgatha Christie once said, “A mother's love for her child is like nothing else in the world. It knows no law, no pity. It dares all things and crushes down remorselessly all that stands in its path." This quote by Christie emphasizes the plethora of security and protection that a mother will naturally possess over her child. This I believe to be true for most circumstances, however, I do not believe that this positive, motivational love is evident between Souljah and her mother. It is 100 percent true that there is love between the two; I just do not believe it is the one emphasized in the quote. The definition of love given in the quote shows a mother who shows no negligence with the affairs of her daughter and sets a good example for her to be raised as a positive woman. I believe that Souljah's mother lacked these characteristics. She did not set positive examples for Souljah to follow; she also hypocritically went against the lessons she tried to teach Souljah by involving herself with drugs, alcohol and various men. She also lackadaisically addresses her daughter's own uncomfortable experience with sex when she is almost pressured to have unwanted sex with another boy. From that night she realizes the lack of initiative from her mother. This forces Souljah to become her own woman after she witnesses her mother become a product of white America. She oftentimes has to be her mother's guardian by questioning her illegitimate set of actions and tries her absolute best to keep her in line. However, this is an important time in Souljah's life where she takes the place of an adult and is obligated to mature, and maybe a bit too early. She is around 16 years old and she makes all of the critical decisions in her life. Fortunately, Souljah is able to take away from the lessons that her mom tried to teach her as a child growing up in the projects. She was taught how to mentally defend herself from people as well as to think ahead and to outsmart others. She has used these traits to her advantage later on in her life and it shaped her to be the woman that she is today.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Marlon because the type of love her mother showed her was tough love. The type of interactions they had helped her to become the woman she is today as Marlon said. Souljah having to see her mother fall victim to the same things she wanted her and siblings to never experienced helped Sister Souljah to become a better person.
DeleteThe relationship between Sister Souljah and her mother is sadly common in today's society. What strike me is Sister Souljah's explanation on how this occurred and how she surprisingly stayed strong minded, even though she had to teach her self how to go about her experiences. She had to go from a stable family to forcing herself to understand and go through life on her own. She shared that " In my mind and my heart my "friends" were only temporary acquaintances. As a result, people said that I cold. And it was true: I had few experiences with girls as friends or boys as boyfriends. If was intellectually advanced, I was socially way behind. I didn't worry about it too much since I saw very little good coming out of such "friendship" anyway. Girlfriends seemed jealous and backstabbing. Boys seemed mindless, one-dimensional, and purely sexually driven. Parents seemed dis-connected and uninterested, and the outside world racist and unconcerned about the hand it dealt to black people".(Souljah36). Her realization showed her majority and understanding of life at a very young age. She was forced to take on responsibility that increased the speed of her growth also. Without her mothers guidance she will always have the sense of security missing. There are certain things in life you cant experience alone.
ReplyDeleteCorrel, I totally agree with what you are saying here. I know that neither one of us would want to experience growing up without the guidance of our mother. I don't think that is an easy experience. My question to you is do you think that growing without her mother's full guidance made her a stronger or a weaker individual deep down?
DeleteI agree with you Correl because the relationship portrayed in "Mother" is not one a mother and a daughter should have with on another. A mother is supposed to be a child's number one guidance. Her mother had no guidance as a child but to depend on a man although her father wasn't around. So when time came for the rough patches in life, she didn't know what to do when her husband was sick and out of work.
DeleteAfter reading the first chapter "Mother" I can honestly say that this is a very interesting and honest book. I belive that Sister Souljah have learned a lot of lesson from her mother. I can honestly say that threlationship that Sister Souljah has with her mother may not be a regualr relationship. Soulljah relationship with her mother is a relationship no matter what happens ithin their lives Souljah's mother will always be the person that she looks up too. I believe that the relationship that Sister Souljah have with her have impacted her in a positive because she now has her guard up for anyone who tries to enter her life. she knows what to expect and what to except. One important lesson that I believe that Sister Souljah learned from her mother is never to trust having a boyfriend girlfriend relationship. Souljah have watched Ty get her kother prgnant and then leave her and then she watched Big Joe tried to be very controlling of her mother which did not work out either. She have watched her mother sit and cry over these men, and she does not want to go through any of these problems. Also, I believe that Agatha Christie's quote can be applied to Sister Souljah's relationship with her mother because no matter what the siutation was her mom made it a priority that she provided for her family as much as she could.
ReplyDeleteThe first Chapter mothers is honestly very benefitical in a child's life. Sister Souljah mother always thought them love and respect, she seemed like a very up class woman while living with their father. After he left everything seem to change and the course of their lives became completely different. First they had to move in the Ghetto and live off welfare because things were extremely hard for them on a daily basic. Yet, Souljah always remain loyal, honest and compassionate to your mother. In fact this struggle stage of their life brough both characters closer than ever. Until her mother started sleeping around with different guys, some who Souljah believed love her mother and some who she believed her mother had sexual relationships with for the money. This idea of prostitution open Soujah mind and create a gap between mother and daughter, the one who she loved and adore and respected like noother, became someone she didn't even know anymore. In my understandings a child only knows what the worlds presents. Her mother needed money to supple her needs and the needs of her brother, but she changed now completely , the corruption side of the world took her over completely now. This chapter is amazing in my opinion because it allows us to see an insight to why young teens make very bad choices.
ReplyDeleteAfter reading the first chapter "Mother", it opened my eyes to realize the trials and tribulations of a unfortunate african american female. This chapter showed the influences of a society on one. The environment that Sister Souljah and her family moved to eventually changed their mother. Souljah's mother was no longer the same after adapting to the projects and she carried this personality throughout the rest of her life.The life that sister souljah and her family came to live after losing their father impacted their lives tremendously. Although her family was changed by the environment, sister souljah maintained her self-identity. Sister souljah was one not to assimilate, she was aware of herself as an individual and the rights and wrongs of life. Seeing how she was a strong individual in such a shakey life style was very interesting and caused me to continue reading. This chapter was a eye opener to those who take life for granted because her mother used to have everything she wanted until things took a turn for the worse and she didn't have guidance for those type of things.
ReplyDeleteWhen the word mother comes to my mind I think of a person who is there to nurture you, provides for you, teaches you valuable life lessons and a person who can do no wrong. “A mother's love for her child is like nothing else in the world. It knows no law, no pity. It dares all things and crushes down remorselessly all that stands in its path." This quote is evident when it comes to Sister Souljah and her mother relationships. Sister Souljah loved her mom and the way she brought her up. From young Sister Souljah mom was teaching her simple life lesson. For example : to never go to a stranger car, if your siblings get into a fight you should be fighting to and to never let no one touch you. I would say that Sister Souljah and her mom had a strong relationship. Even after, her mom started sleeping with many random guys. Souljah and her mom had a open relationship. Her mother would give her the harsh details on society like men, relationships, sex and money. I believed that the most important lesson her mom taught her was that do not let any one stop her from achieving her education. Her mom and Big Joe relationship ended because Big Joe did not want her to attend college classes. "the woman posing as my mother was not my mother. She was America's creation and that did not belong to me"(Souljah 50). Sister Souljah did admit that her mom life went from being a normal life, to a life who her mom herself did not know who she was as a person. Her mom went from having a husband , three kids and a house to living in the projects with multiple sexual partners. Also, her mom changed when she started taking drugs something she told her three kids to never do. Sister Souljah life was impacted a lot when her mom life went downhill. In one accident when her mom and her sister was arguing over weed. That made her think about what mother life had become.
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